Sunday, January 01, 2006

RELAUNCH ISSUE: Sai Baba Re-Emerges From Pit

Greetings to our readers! With the beginning of 2006, we note that our humble publication has gained a wide readership and an ever-growing college of reporters. With this in mind, we have decided to relaunch our publication with a new look and title to mark the occasion. The National Enquirer (Sai Baba Edition) is now known as the "International Sai Tribune". The former title was associated with too much pulp and trashy reporting on sold-out Hollywood has-beens and dried-up old prunes. We now promise to ensure that our reporting is of the highest quality and meets the oft-established standards of irreverency with glee. Please continue to support our irrelevant publication and howl with laughter at our ridiculous stories. And what a better cover-story to mark the occasion than Sai Baba's emergence from an underground pit!

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Puttaparthi, South India

Sathya Sai Baba, who buried himself in a pit three days ago for world peace, today miraculously re-emerged from said pit to the gasp of onlookers.

No digging was involved since the Baba had apparently risen straight out of the ground, according to eyewitness reports.

After shaking his head and hair free of sand and muttering about sand getting in between the cracks, the Baba stated: "I have blessed the world so that there is no more suffering or disturbance. I am very happy that love and peace will be there. Now become my devotee, or else."

Pilot Baba, a Hindu associate who witnessed the event, said: "The soul and the body gets purified by this."

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