Saturday, January 07, 2006

NJ Frat Babe Sees Sai Baba In Ashtray

Princeton, NJ.

A Princeton student claims that the likeness of a Hindu holy man has appeared in her ashtray.

Tufooti Klein, 17, of the Chi Phi fraternity, claims that the image of Sri Sathya Sai Baba has formed miraculously in her glass ashtray. The astrophysical sciences student claims to have been surrounded by fellow classmates during what seems to have been an all-night sex and alcohol party before she started to stare drunkenly at the ash receptacle.

"No one knew what she was gawkin' at," said eyewitness Joe Fuggly. "We all thought she was tripping out on some blazed-out mix of root beer and the white candy if ya get mah meanin'."

Pond scum

The ashtray is a unique model, containing little pieces of pond scum collected from a lake near Tufooti's off-map home town of Little Piglet, Iowa. The item had been presented to Tufooti as a leaving gift by the hamlet community. The Baba's face is believed to be seen due to an alignment of scum particles, which Tufooti claims she has never noticed before and didn't know the identity of the face until a devotee classmate informed her.

"We been dunkin' our smokes and used rubbers into it, and all along it's a holy relic or sum'thin'," she gaggled excitedly. "It's a sign from God, I know it 'cuz I prayed for help to quit da smokes and da drugs and whaddya know, da Lord's boy done appeared in mah damn ashtray!"

Trickery

The Indian Baba's connections with ash do not stop there. Reports from all over the world claim that ash forms on his pictures both inside and outside the glass panel and frames. He is also reported to regularly materialize it in a daily basis while claims of trickery have persisted for decades. Local devotees have commented that this is both his mysterious way of bringing new devotees to him and advising people, especially the young ones, to quit smoking.

"I guess dat means dere's nuthin' wrong with drinkin' or screwin' around afta all 'stead of attendin' classes," giggled Tufooti, who admitted she had serious trouble with making her grades due to her extracurricular activities. "You're not doin' anythin' tonight, are ya?"

At this point I turned on my heels and ran, being unavailable for comment.

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