Friday, October 28, 2005

Moreno Claims to Have “One of Those Days”, Later Retracts Statement

"It really was a normal day. I'm not sure why I said otherwise", explained Moreno.

New Mexico – Gerald Moreno, an unemployed slacker from New Mexico, last week claimed to a neighbor that he was having “One of those days”. Today, Moreno issued a formal retraction and apologized to family members and neighbors who may have expressed sympathy under false pretenses.

“Last Monday, a neighbor asked me how I was doing as I was doing some gardening. I sighed and told him that I was having ‘One of those days’, even though it was really a normal day”, Moreno read from a prepared statement. “I’m not sure why I said otherwise. I could have said that I was doing fine, or that it was the ‘same old same old’, but I did not. I have only myself to blame for this horrible misunderstanding.”

Moreno said he decided to officially retract his erroneous statement later that day, after several other neighbors expressed sympathy towards him. “They were all approaching me, telling me to hang in there, and that tomorrow would be a better day. One old biddy from across the street even brought me a Coke. I just couldn’t live with myself, knowing that I really wasn’t having ‘One of those days’, yet acting as though I was, and accepting cold beverages.”

Moreno's neighbours say that despite the incident, the thirty-five year old will be under watch. “Gerald Moreno has been an integral part of our neighborhood” said Marsha Williams. “I think this whole ordeal has taught him a tough lesson, and we think that is punishment enough.”

Moreno agreed, saying “I’ll never say that I’m having ‘One of those days’ again. Unless, of course, I really am having ‘One of those days’.”