Monday, October 31, 2005

Children's Corner: Win a FREE iPod Nano!

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Win 25 new devotees for Swami by December 25th
and Get a Free iPod Nano!

The Puttaparthi Bal Vikas School is pleased to announce our 1st Annual Devotee Recruitment Contest. The contest is open to registered Bal Vikas members, ages 9-18. Winning contestants will qualify for a drawing to be placed in the final drawing to receive a certificate for the grand award drawing to possibly win a free iPod Nano. This amazing new audio device fits into the palm of your hand and is pre-loaded and permanently locked with parental controls so that the winning youth can enjoy countless hours of mantras, mp3 discourses of Swami, and popular bhajan songs.

This contest may not be used in conjunction with any other Sathya Sai Seva Organisations offer. Entry fees must be received by November 23, 2005 in order to qualify for the grand award drawing at the 9 A.M. Sunday morning service in the main sanctuary in late December. Youth Co-ordinator, P.V. Gunanathan, will present the winner of the contest with a pre-loaded, unboxed iPod Nano, and a complete set of Swami's 'Vahini' series. Please see below for contest rules.

Contest Rules:

  1. Contestants must be between the ages of 9-18 and have been members in good standing of the Puttaparthi Bal Vikas School for at least 7-years.
  2. Prospective devotees must be recruited outside Penukonda District. Our Vedic policy of restricting ignorant people from joining our cult or coming within ten miles of our gated perimeter is still in effect for this competition.
  3. Contestants must present their new converts to Dr. Michael Goldstein (see ashram secretary for his daily office hours which may change without notice) for preliminary validation interview.
  4. Contestants must register and submit the contest entry fee of Rs.3000 by November 23, 2005 in order to qualify for the free iPod Nano. A blank check, or credit card from a parent, legal guardian or babysitter's purse is acceptable.
  5. Contestants must win at least 25 devotees for Swami by the contest deadline on December 25th in order to qualify for the free iPod Nano.
  6. New converts must be able to recite from memory the 9-point Code of Conduct and at least 3 different mantras within two days of accepting Swami.
  7. New devotees may not be won through any other contest offerings such as the Free Playstation 2 offer.
  8. New devotees must be members of a household possessing a gross annual income exceeding Rs.750,000.
  9. New devotees must make a good donation in the amount of Rs. 10,000 to the Accomodation Officr at Puttaparthi within 9 hours of accepting Swami as their Lord.
  10. New converts may not be a member of the contestant's immediate family to the third.
  11. Devotees recruited during the bi-weekly Gunpoint Spiritual Retreats do not qualify for this contest.
  12. Devotees recruited in the Ashram Shopping Center or any Prashanti Nilayam-owned properties do not qualify for this contest.

Good luck to all contest participants and happy recruiting this holiday season!

Friday, October 28, 2005

Moreno Claims to Have “One of Those Days”, Later Retracts Statement

"It really was a normal day. I'm not sure why I said otherwise", explained Moreno.

New Mexico – Gerald Moreno, an unemployed slacker from New Mexico, last week claimed to a neighbor that he was having “One of those days”. Today, Moreno issued a formal retraction and apologized to family members and neighbors who may have expressed sympathy under false pretenses.

“Last Monday, a neighbor asked me how I was doing as I was doing some gardening. I sighed and told him that I was having ‘One of those days’, even though it was really a normal day”, Moreno read from a prepared statement. “I’m not sure why I said otherwise. I could have said that I was doing fine, or that it was the ‘same old same old’, but I did not. I have only myself to blame for this horrible misunderstanding.”

Moreno said he decided to officially retract his erroneous statement later that day, after several other neighbors expressed sympathy towards him. “They were all approaching me, telling me to hang in there, and that tomorrow would be a better day. One old biddy from across the street even brought me a Coke. I just couldn’t live with myself, knowing that I really wasn’t having ‘One of those days’, yet acting as though I was, and accepting cold beverages.”

Moreno's neighbours say that despite the incident, the thirty-five year old will be under watch. “Gerald Moreno has been an integral part of our neighborhood” said Marsha Williams. “I think this whole ordeal has taught him a tough lesson, and we think that is punishment enough.”

Moreno agreed, saying “I’ll never say that I’m having ‘One of those days’ again. Unless, of course, I really am having ‘One of those days’.”