Thursday, January 27, 2005

BREAKING NEWS - Sai Baba To Erect Pyramid For Himself


Puttaparthi, South India
January 28th, 2005

Bhagavan Sri Sathya Sai Baba is in negotiations with the Egyptian government to purchase a tract of land near the Valley of the Kings and close to the historic Sphinx. He plans to build a pyramid that will dwarf the Great Pyramid in size and house his mummified remains after his death. He has set up a website to facilitate financing the project and has requested each of his devotees (on earth) to log in and donate fifty dollars.


Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Sai Baba Conjoined Twins Arrested At WalMart

January 17, 2005
Boston, MA

Rajasekhara and Chandrasekhara Iyer, conjoined twins both aged 19, were arrested at WalMart yesterday for getting into a scuffle with themselves and knocking over several racks of merchandise in the process.

They have been charged with disorderly conduct and reckless damage to store property. Apparently Rajasekhara is a fervent disciple of Shirdi Sai Baba and Chandrasekhara is a disciple of Sathya Sai Baba. The issue of the guru's continuity is the cause of an acrimonious dispute between the twins – the former believes his guru never reincarnated again whereas the latter believes his guru is the living reincarnation.

Allegedly Shirdi Baba appeared in Rajasekhara's dreams and ordered for the twins to be surgically separated, whereas Sathya Sai allegedly ordered Chandrasekhara (again, in a dream) for them to remain conjoined so that his disciple could convert the other one from Shirdi’s sect to his own.

The scuffle began as an argument over the issue of becoming separated, which quickly turned into kicking and punching each other while squirting bottles of tomato sauce over each other's white clothes.

‘Forklift Phil’, the greeter for the store told reporters, “They were in a bad mood coming in the door, and I knew there was going to be trouble. When I said, ‘Hi, welcome to WalMart’, they just scowled back and muttered in unison, ‘Yeah, whatever.’ They drew quite a crowd of other customers that stood around watching the fight and cheered them on. It was definitely one of the freakiest things to happen ever since I have worked here.” The twins have been released on their own recognizance pending a pre-trial hearing.