Thursday, April 29, 2004

De Witt Found GUILTY

Pennyslvania, 2004.

The Supreme Court of Penn. State found Lisa De Witt guilty of fraud, treason and conspiracy to over throw the United States Government yesterday afternoon.

At the conclusion of the sensational trial, Justice Ronald McDonald sentenced De Witt to five life sentences. "You conspired against our good President and had an evil desire to betray our country," he told her while she wept, "You deserve everything you get. They should lock you up and throw away the key. You will never see daylight again."

Lisa De Witt was the victim of a police sting operation as police forces had been observing her movements for months. She had been masquerading as a researcher on the Internet and police were even tracking her Internet activity.

"She was wasting time on discussion groups about some Sai Baba guy," said Officer Piles, "when all the time she was writing pages and pages of anti-US propaganda on other groups."

De Witt was finally arrested after officers launched an observation when they acquired knowledge of a meeting between her and another suspicious plotter known to them only as "Deep Throat."

"We're very pleased to finally nab this evil woman," said Officer Piles with a big grin. "Such people who work against our glorious country at this sensitive time need to be taken off the streets."

De Witt was placed in custody immediately after the trial ended. Being taken to the police vehicle, she screamed, "These idiots are all sleazeball liars!"