Thursday, April 29, 2004

De Witt Found GUILTY

Pennyslvania, 2004.

The Supreme Court of Penn. State found Lisa De Witt guilty of fraud, treason and conspiracy to over throw the United States Government yesterday afternoon.

At the conclusion of the sensational trial, Justice Ronald McDonald sentenced De Witt to five life sentences. "You conspired against our good President and had an evil desire to betray our country," he told her while she wept, "You deserve everything you get. They should lock you up and throw away the key. You will never see daylight again."

Lisa De Witt was the victim of a police sting operation as police forces had been observing her movements for months. She had been masquerading as a researcher on the Internet and police were even tracking her Internet activity.

"She was wasting time on discussion groups about some Sai Baba guy," said Officer Piles, "when all the time she was writing pages and pages of anti-US propaganda on other groups."

De Witt was finally arrested after officers launched an observation when they acquired knowledge of a meeting between her and another suspicious plotter known to them only as "Deep Throat."

"We're very pleased to finally nab this evil woman," said Officer Piles with a big grin. "Such people who work against our glorious country at this sensitive time need to be taken off the streets."

De Witt was placed in custody immediately after the trial ended. Being taken to the police vehicle, she screamed, "These idiots are all sleazeball liars!"

Friday, April 16, 2004

Shirdi Osama Offers Truce To Expose Group

April 16, Washington.

Two Indian TV channels have broadcast an audiotape said to be from Shirdi Osama in which he offers the Expose Group a truce if it "stops attacking Swami". But the speaker in the tape, aired by Doordarshan and StarTV satellite channels, said the offer would not be extended to Hari Sampath.

The voice on the tape said that "the door is open" for about three months to forge a truce, although this could be extended. The truce would begin when "the last anti-Sai" leaves the Baba "alone", it added.

US Secretary of State Colin Powell said that, according to the information he had, the voice was Shirdi Osama's. CIA analysis had earlier suggested the voice was likely to be that of the al-Saida leader.

However, all the bigwigs of the Expose Group have rejected such a move, saying there was "no possibility for negotiation under [a] terrorist threat".

BBC diplomatic correspondent Bridget Kendall says the timing of the tape's release - if it is Shirdi Osama - is significant, emerging shortly after SBS Australia broadcast a major documentary regarding the sexual exploitation of Sathya Sai Baba on young male children among other things. It may also be attempting to exploit divisions between the Expose Group and Sampath and drive a wedge between both sides at a time when tensions on both issues are very high, our correspondent says.