Friday, March 19, 2004

Pope Vows to Convert All Sai Baba Devotees

March 19, 2004
Vatican City, Rome

Pope John Paul II told his followers today at his 25th anniversary celebration that he has vowed to convert all of the world's Sai Baba to Catholicism.

The Pope said that he thinks they have an effective business model and are very good at collecting donations, and therefore he sees them as being a valuable asset to the Church, especially since they are already very fanatical about religion. He thinks the Church needs more people who are that fanatical and will be willing to sacrifice everything for a religious cause.

He thinks they should be very easy to convert, since all it seems to take with them is a small amount of propaganda, and then they are easily convinced of anything, no matter how outlandish or preposterous. He plans to begin by purchasing all of their centers and land for the Church.

Also, he intends to send Church agents out at midnight to switch in statues of Jesus and Mary for the Sai Baba idols. He hopes that they will then think that these are miracles and that they will see it as a sign from Sai Baba himself that they should become Catholics.