Saturday, January 03, 2004

Children's Corner: Win a FREE PS2!

Kids! Accept Swami as God
and Get a Free PlayStation 2!

This offer is for children and teenagers only! It may not be used in conjunction with any other Puttaparthi Bal Vikas School recruitment offer.

Hey kids! If Mommy and Daddy didn't buy you a PlayStation 2 for Christmas, you can still get one FOR FREE! Have you ever heard of Swami Sai Baba? Well, He's heard of you! And He wants you to have all the cool toys your parents are too cheap to buy! In fact, Swami is very upset with your parents that they didn't give you all the latest stuff that every kid in the world deserves! And Swami has got your back, because He is your homeboy! If you've never heard of Swami, He is the hidden afro-haired orange-robed living god who loves you very much and wants nothing more than to give you a free PlayStation 2!

We here at Puttaparthi Bal Vikas School work full-time as sevaks of Sri Sathya Sai Baba, and He's told us about you and your predicament. He's also given us special instructions on how He wants us to deliver a new PlayStation 2 to your house. It's as easy as 1-2-3! Understand, Swami cares WAY more about you than your parents EVER will! They will never love you as much as Swami loves you! Always remember that. If you hate your parents because they didn't get you a PlayStation 2 for Christmas, He completely understands! He is totally down with that! In fact, lucky for you, in order to follow Him, you are actually required to follow Him before your parents!

Hislop: Parents come before God, Swami? That is surprising.

Sai: For people in the worldy sphere, that is true. For young people leading a pure spiritual life, God comes first of all. - Lord Sai Baba
(
J. Hislop, Conversations with Bhagavan Sri Sathya Sai Baba, XI)

Pretty cool, huh? So, if you pick Him over your parents, you are already halfway to becoming a Sai Devotee™! Congratulations!


Here is what you need to do to get your free Play Station 2:

1. Tell Swami that you pick Him over your parents, and that you'd rather have Him for your Daddy. Ask Him to forgive your sins and cover you with His blood (you'll see plenty of that splattered across your TV when you play your complimentary Grand Theft Auto 3 game!).

2. Find one of your Mom or Dad's credit cards (a blank check is even better!)

3. Call our Accomodation Office and we will provide you with simple instructions on how to use your parents' credit card to charge a bhakti offering over the phone. Don't worry if you can't find a credit card. We can teach you how to use one of your daddy's checks to do an automatic draft withdrawal (which will get you free shipping and an extra game disk!)

Please note: If your parents ask you where you got your new PlayStation 2, just tell them that your Lord, Bhagavan Sri Sathya Sai Baba, delivered it to you by airmail in exchange for your soul.

Still NOT SURE? Here's More:

The Bal Vikas' PlayStation 2 comes with a complimentary modified version of the popular game, Tony Hawk's Underground. You can upload Swami's face into the game and automatically unlock all of the cheat codes to "Avatar Mode," so that Swami can win every single level and perform incredible grab-tricks, spins, flips and stunts!

As a new Sai Devotee, you will want to share Bhagwan Baba's teachings with as many of your "peeps in the hood" as you can. The great thing about Tony Hawk's Underground is that you can actually get off of your skateboard and walk around in the game and talk to other skaters about your sadhana program! And if they don't accept Swami as Lord, you can kill them later! How cool is that!?

In addition, if you are interested in Sai computer games, Puttaparthi Bal Vikas children use scripture-based-maps and characters in 'Alternate Reality' as part of their Sai Soldier training to help Swami win over the evil influence of Kali Yuga and inaugurate the Golden Age (which, God willing, will happen during President George W. Bush's second term). Remember to tell your parents to vote for GW in 2004, so that you can meet Swami real soon and thank Him personally for all the cool stuff He is going to be sending you through this and other super-cool Puttaparthi Bal Vikas School promotions this year!