Sunday, September 22, 2002

Sai Baba Sued Over Copyright Infringement

Puttaparthi, South India
September 6, 2002

Bhagavan Sri Sathya Sai Baba has been notified of allegations against him relating to copyright infringement over the works of other deceased spiritual gurus.

The suit maintains that Sai Baba deliberately and willfully stole phrases from the lectures and speeches of Swami Vivekananda, Ramakrishna Paramahamsa, Mahatma Gandhi, and other discarnate leaders who are currently being represented by Mrs. Betty Blossom, a local medium.

Sai Baba's followers are outraged at the allegations and plan to file a countersuit in a few days. Sai Baba himself is nonplussed, however. He told reporters this afternoon, "I know I will be victorious in the end and my case will be proven beyond a shadow of a doubt. After all, even though I was only a bonny babe at the height of their fame, I knew what they were going to say in the future and I was the one who prompted them from within! So why is there an objection to my stealing their words and ideas verbatim?"

"This petty tittle-tattle is just coming from people who have left me, Judases that they are, who are victims of their own jealousy which has blinded them to their own divinity - Me! They don't realize that my plans for world domination continue unhindered by these tiny obstacles. I am the Avatar and I rule!" he added with a jeering sneer and a sinister arch of his eyebrow.

Saturday, September 07, 2002

Sai Devotees Stage Nude Protest at Nation's Capital

Washington, D.C.
September 6, 2002

Balu Srinivasan, a devotee of Sathya Sai Baba was arrested here earlier today, along with thirty female prostitutes for parading down a major street in a nude protest of the impending war on Iraq that President Bush is making a case for in the Congress and the United Nations. The protestors carried signs denouncing homosexuals as well as the current U.S. government.

One of the prostitutes, who apparently is a spokesperson for the group, told reporters that the issue is that the President's war on terrorists and governments that support and harbor them is misplaced and that the real villains are homosexual gurus that prey on children. She added that they would continue the naked protests in various major cities throughout the nation until the people and the government come to their senses and realize where the true priorities lie.

When I inquired what she thought of the allegations of homosexual pedophilia that have been levelled against her own guru, she appeared to ignore me and changed the subject. "Do you like these?" she asked, while pointing to her pierced nipples. Half-blushing, she said that she pierced them as an expression of spirituality and her solidarity with Balu Srinivasan, who also has pierced nipples.