Thursday, August 08, 2002

Sai Spy Stows Away On Space Shuttle

August 7, 2002
Cape Kennedy, FL

The space shuttle crew discovered a stowaway on a recent mission to upgrade the Hubble telescope.

An astronaut told reports, "I was doing a routine system when I noticed this young chap with a ash spot on his forehead staring at me from among some Ethernet cables behind one of the onboard computers, so I yanked on the cables and he started screaming Hindu incantations at me. We tied him up and turned him over to authorities upon landing. He must have thought he was getting closer to his god by going into orbit with us."

The stowaway, V. Shyamalan, 12, was expelled from several Bal Vikas schools for refusing to take his Ritalin for hyperactivity and joined an international terrorist faction within the organization that claims no ties to the official Prashanti Council. But intelligence agencies suspect that the Prashanti Council secretly authorized the formation of the extremist faction, mainly to spy on rival religious sects to dig up dirt on them and threaten them with violence should they ever criticize the International Sai Organization.

Shyamalan would not disclose the details of his secret mission, but agents that questioned him think he was attempting to discredit NASA based on the books of his guru, who voiced the thought that the sun has humonguous holes in it. However, he apparently thought the Russian space program was genuine and that Hitler was actually a benign ruler that was merely maligned by political enemies for being too powerful.