Sunday, June 30, 2002

Sai President's Wife Sues Congregation

San Francisco, California
June 29th, 2002

The wife of president of a local Sai Center here has filed suit in the Federal circuit court against one hundred and eight members of the center's congregation. The suit alleges that the defendants in the action caused her husband to become a gluttonous carnivore with their exaggerated tales of eating meat dishes aplenty.

According to the sect's religious doctrine, followers are prohibited from eating meat on the grounds that it displeases their leader. The suit alleges that many of the defendants claimed to be eating meat as often as nine times a day, and several of them claimed to be having extramarital affairs with as many as three dozen other sect members.

The plaintiff, Mrs. Y.V.Rao, told reporters, "We have an enduring respect for all religions and, although we greatly admire the Biblical episode of orgiastic ecstasy that took place while Moses was receiving the Ten Commandments, we had no intention that such a wonderful leela would be re-enacted in our day and age, several times! However, these hypocrites have no right to sue and slander my husband as they also do not follow our ideals. Jesus did say to slap them on the other cheek after all."

Upon being told that her interpretation of Christ's axiom was incorrect, Mrs. Rao barked "tough!" and showed me her middle finger.